(originally published in the Burlingame Mother’s Club Newsletter)
Once upon a time, there was a mother who loved taking walks. When her first child was born, she strapped him into a Snuggli and walked for hours. As he grew a bit bigger, she would nestle him into a stroller and go for leisurely jogs. He grew sturdy and strong and she eagerly looked forward to the day when they would stroll, hand in hand, around their neighborhood.
But soon it was clear there was a problem: he just didn’t want to walk. It wasn’t that he couldn’t. The child could run like a squirrel when the mood struck him. But rather than walk with his mother, the boy would throw himself on the sidewalk and howl. The mother pleaded with her son to walk. She promised him cookies. She got mad and threatened to walk off. Nothing worked. Then one day, she had an idea. She began telling him a story: “Once upon a time, there was a baby caterpillar with twenty legs…”
No one can resist the tug of a story. And every parent—really, anyone at all—has a treasure trove of stories locked in their head. All we have to do is get them out.
Everyone tells us that children love to hear their mother sing, whether or not she can carry a tune. What they forget to tell us is that every child craves to hear stories told by their parents—“with your own mouth,” as my littlest one likes to say.
True confession: I started telling my first son, Matthew, stories when he was very small to coax him to go for walks. I’d start the story—then begin strolling. It was magic: instead of fussing, he would trot alongside, eager to hear every twist. Now, at age 7, he’s a great walker and has an insatiable love of stories.
Although I’ve been a journalist all my adult life, I have had no formal training in making up stories for children. Over the past few years, however, I’ve conjured up hundreds of stories to amuse and distract my boys. Story telling, I’ve realized, is much like cooking: You can, of course, whip up a simple story from scratch. You can make up a fine story using “prepackaged” materials. And, with a bit of practice, you can weave a gourmet tale with more parts than a nine-course meal. Like cooking, the only prerequisite is utter confidence.
Here is the list of ingredients and a few of the short-cuts I use to make up stories. Although it may seem like a bit of work at the beginning, you’ll discover that as you tell more stories, your cupboard will become packed with characters, plots and twists that will make story telling a cinch.
Ingredients:
- Characters: You only need two or three characters for a good story. The logical star for many of your stories, of course, is your child! (Who doesn’t want to be the hero of a story?) Beloved stuffed animals are another good bet. Other sorts of creatures—lions, dragons, witches—are also favorites.
Once upon a time, there was a baby caterpillar with twenty legs.
2. The plot: Seize the moment. Every child likes to hear stories about familiar stuff. There’s nothing more familiar than the situation at hand. Heading off to the park? Then tell a story about a character going to the park. Bedtime? Tell a story about a character going to bed.
More than anything else, he wanted to walk to a nearby park where there was a tree with leaves so delicious they tasted like candy. “Please, Mommy,” he said, “can’t we go for a walk to the park?”
3. Conflict: Every good story has an element of conflict. And every good mother encounters plenty of conflict every day. Is your child fighting bedtime? Refusing to eat green vegetables? Does she insist on wearing the same pink socks day after day, whether or not they’re clean? Even better: flip-flop the situation. Maybe your character is begging to do something that your child resists.
“Oh,” sighed his mother. “Aren’t you tired from playing all day? Are you sure you really want to go to the park?”
“Oh, yes,” said the little caterpillar. “I’ve got lots of energy!”
4. The comic twist: Here’s where you can be really creative. You’ve described a character and situation in your story. Now add an element of absurdity. The crazier, the better. Why not a story about an animal who really, really wants to go to bed—but spaceships, dinosaurs and a licorice-wielding wizard keep stopping it from getting to sleep? Or, a creature who loves peas and hates candy—but is forced to eat only candy, all day and all night, by a wicked witch?
So, the mother caterpillar inched her way to the closet and started to pull out all the little caterpillar’s shoes. You have to remember that the little caterpillar wore 20 shoes at once. First the mother put on a pair of blue shoes and laced them up, one on the right, one on the left. Then she put on a red pair of shoes, one on the right, one on the left. Then she put on a pair of shoes with blinking lights in the heel, one on the right, one on the left…[you get the idea. Somehow, little kids often think such repetition is pretty funny. Ask your child to start adding examples to the list.] By the time the caterpillar’s mommy had laced up the very last shoe, which had pink and green polka dots, the little caterpillar had fallen fast asleep. The mother caterpillar gave a great big sigh—then started to unlace each and every shoe—and finally put the little caterpillar to bed.
5. The resolution: personally, I love happy endings. If your child is the star of the story, then let them do something heroic. If the story is about a creature, then invent an ending where the creature has a “great idea” and creatively solves a problem, or learns a lesson, or makes a friend or somehow winds up with a smile on its face. If you’re really stuck, ask your child what he or she thinks should happen. Chances are, the answer will surprise and delight you.
The next day, the little caterpillar had a great day, going to caterpillar school, learning what it would take to become a butterfly, playing with his friends and nibbling on tasty leaves. Toward the end of the day, the little caterpillar once again begged his mother to take him to the park.
“Oh please, Mommy!” said the little caterpillar. “Please, please, please! ”
“Oh dear, my darling little fluff ball. I’d love to take you to the park but I’m afraid that by the time we get on all your shoes, you’ll fall asleep again!”
[You can, of course, drag it out and go through the shoe scene all over again. Or not. Hey, it’s your story.]
All of a sudden, the little caterpillar had a Great Idea. “Mommy, look! Haven’t we seen that boy in the park before?”
Sure enough, the mother caterpillar looked up and saw a little human boy who looked very familiar. The caterpillars had often seen him in the park playing very near the tree with the tasty leaves. Even better—the backpack that he always carried with him was lying on the ground nearby.
“Let’s go!” said the mother caterpillar. In a few moments the pair had wiggled into the backpack and was soon on the way to the park. But the mommy hadn’t forgotten the little caterpillar’s shoes. She pulled out her own sack, filled with all twenty pairs. “Okay,” she said, as they bumped along in the little boy’s backpack. “Let’s start with a red shoe on your right foot…”
Premixed ingredients: Don’t hesitate to borrow story themes from tried and true fairy tales like Goldilocks, little red riding hood, the three little pigs or your own personal favorites. (The three little pigs is a wonderful story for improvisation. Ever hear the story of the three little elephants and the mean, nasty mouse?)
Even better: tell your child a story about something that happened to you when you were a child. This is obviously a different kind of story: you are the central character, the events are true. But every child is fascinated by the image of Mom or Dad as a kid. You can tell them how “life was different” in the days before videos and computers. You can share stories about ups or downs that you faced that might be similar to something they are confronting. Tell them about your favorite pet, your scariest Halloween or the best birthday you ever had.
